Letters to the Editor – the 2017 election

Sir

It seems to me that Mrs May called for an erection, her campaign has been a cock up and could result in a prick entering number ten. Or perhaps I just have a penis fixation?

Yours etc

Disgusted of Dorcan

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Letters to the Editor; can this be right?

Sir

Your columns, like all media chanels, are festooned with the question of rights. Human rights, women’s rights, minority rights and more all in the name of equality.

Yet if there is to be true equality who will make a stand for the lefts?

Yours etc

Letters to the editor; Daylight Saving

Sir

If at any time I decide to sieze power my first action, after signing some execution warrants, will be to abolish the stupidity of daylight saving.

Yours faithfully

Disgruntled of Dorcan

Free Willy – a touchy subject?

The operation to transplant a penis has been in the news again recently, and I admit that the thought troubles be a little. Not that I am going to be in the market for any fresh trouser equipment you understand, but more as a general, if I can use the term, point.

are you prepared to sign the UK’s death warrant?

Do you remember watching the Berlin Wall as it was pushed over? Possibly you are too young, but got those of us who knew the Cold War period it was a symbol of hope that so many once proud nations could have the chance to escape from the tyranny of the old Soviet Bloc. But as we rejoiced at the scenes little did we know then that another dark force was gathering pace to subjugate all it could gobble up.

Hello, my name is Alex from Talk Talk

Yesterday I got home from a trip to the South coast, pleasantly weary from a lengthy business meeting and a personal catch up with someone that I haven’t seen for 47 years. I had barely settled when the telephone rang; “Not another one” exclaimed the Berkshire Belle as she picked up the handset, listened for a moment and then shouted “Go away!” before hanging up.

charities are sometime not that charitable

Chugging has long been one of the basic hazards of the high street and has since invaded our homes through visits at the front door, mail-shots, and the email equivalent, TV campaigns plus telephone calls. Goodness knows how much it all costs and one assumes that it generates sufficient income or they wouldn’t do it, but I wonder how many people do they turn off in the process and how much potential revenue that loses them.

in the wake of Sport Relief, another letter to the editor

Sir

A disturbing thought occurs to me. If comedians raising money for charity is Comic Relief and sports personalities raising money for charities is Comic Relief what would happen if the politicians joined in?

An unpalatable thought

The rise of the Trumpster on the politcal scene in the US has brought the inevitable blast of leftist outrage regarding much of what the man appears to stand for; racist, bigot, bully they scream, but maybe there is something that they are missing.

Erecting a leader

It’s always nice when friends get something that they want, even if it is something that you wouldn’t want yourself, and that is how I feel about the Labour Party leadership erection (the malapropism is deliberate, for my feeling is that there has been a preponderance of posturing pricks, a sort of mini version of the general erection back in May when there were hundreds of them).